You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
