omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize