Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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