When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
