i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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