The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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