bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
