Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
