some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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