and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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