thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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