explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
