I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
