He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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