just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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