super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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