just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
