I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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