He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
