I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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