id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
