i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
