Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
