im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
