so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
