What a fucking waste of an outfit
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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