3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
