You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
