With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
