Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize