Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
