The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
