I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize