mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh god it's open bar.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
