I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
