i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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