I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
