Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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