Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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