So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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