what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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