Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
