Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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