white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
