Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
