There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
