it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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