They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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