Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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