we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
