I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
