By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
