Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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