So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
