I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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