Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
