Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
