sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
