I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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