guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
