Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
