I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
