Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
