looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
