did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
