btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
