yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
