I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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